My summary of Reichenbach...
- Therapist: Why today?
- John: You know why I’m here.
- Therapist: No, I don’t read the newspaper, nor do I watch TV. I have no concept of what goes on in the outside world.
- John: My best friend is dead.
- Therapist: OH SHIT LOL, sorry.
- -later-
- Sherlock: I just solved everything, give me stuff.
- People: Here’s a box.
- Sherlock: I fucking hate boxes.
- Lestrade: Here’s a hat.
- Sherlock: I fucking hate hats.
- Sally and Anderson: LOL
- Sherlock: I will kill everybody in this room.
- -later-
- John: I’m almost 100% positive that this newspaper is calling me gay.
- Sherlock: I don’t understand how hats like this work. I’ve narrowed it down to either two things the hat could possibly be used for; an ear hat or a death Frisbee.
- -meanwhile-
- Moriarty: I fucking love this London cap. I fucking love this music. I fucking love these jewels. Oh and I just fucked over the majority of England using two apps on my phone, nbd.
- -later-
- Kitty: I’m just chillin’ here in the men’s toilets, Sherlock, sign my boobs.
- Sherlock: The fuck are boobs.
- -later-
- Jury: We find the defendant not guilty, even though he has no evidence or witnesses to support his plea.
- Judge: lolwhut.
- -later-
- John: Sherlock, be careful, Moriarty is going to come over and-
- Sherlock: OH MY GOD JOHN, SHUT UP, I’M TRYING TO HAVE TEA WITH THE MAN THAT TRIED TO KILL BOTH OF US.
- Moriarty: I have access to everything in the world. I need to solve the final problem. The fall will begin soon. I.O.U. None of this is ever going to be important to the plot, though.
- -later-
- John: Excuse me, I’m looking for Mycroft Holmes.
- Old guy: HOLY SHITBERRIES YOU CAN’T SPEAK IN HERE. IMMA USE MY CANE TO RING THIS BELL.
- Random guys: We’re here to kidnap you.
- John: K.
- -later-
- Mycroft: There are all these foreign assassins that live near you now, so, you know, beware of that.
- John: Can’t you just tell Sherlock this yourself?
- Mycroft: Bitch please, of course not. –FORESHADOWING GUILT-
- -later-
- Lestrade: Come solve murders.
- Sherlock: Okay.
- -later-
- Sherlock: I’m a genius, ultra-violet light all up in here. Today is awesome.
- John: Sherlock, ffs, children have been kidnapped, please tone down the happiness.
- -later-
- Sherlock: Molly, you’re coming to help me and John. You won’t ever have a love life so me crashing your date won’t matter.
- Molly: Okay.
- -later-
- Sherlock: My homeless network > the English police force. Hurry up I just solved shit, let’s go save children.
- -later-
- Sherlock: Hello.
- Girl: GSNRUOHOIEASNGISRGIPOASNNHORHGNTRUSRGOURENGUOEANGAGMNRS
- -later-
- Moriarty: IMMA TELL Y’ALL THE TALE OF SIR BOASTALOT.
- Sherlock: The fuck is this, I don’t give a shit about children’s stories.
- Moriarty: blah blah blah FINAL PROBLEM.
- Sherlock: This will never be useful to me. But seriously, cab driver, what the shit was that-
- Moriarty: LOL NO CHARGE
- Sherlock: FUCK.
- -later-
- Sherlock: GUISE…GUISE…THERE ARE CAMERA’S EVERYWHERE.
- John: What.
- Lestrade: Sherlock, I have reason to believe that you are Sir Boastalot.
- Sherlock: Moriarty is fucking with your head. This is a game. I DON’T LIKE GAMES. NEED I REMIND ALL OF YOU WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME WE PLAYED CLUEDO.
- -later-
- Lestrade: Sherlock, you’re under arrest.
- John: I’M GOING TO PUNCH THIS RANDOM FUCKER IN THE FACE.
- Sherlock: Coolies, now we’re both arrested.
- -later-
- Sherlock: I GOT A GUN. JOHN’S OFFICIALLY MY BITCH NOW.
- John: I’m okay with this.
- Sherlock: Kay, I got a great idea, we’re going to jump in front of a bus.
- John: What.
- -later-
- Moriarty: So, I’m an actor now and Sherlock hired me.
- Sherlock and John: What.
- -later-
- Sherlock: Molly, I need your help again.
- Molly: Okay.
- -later-
- Mycroft: Yeah, so I’m the sole reason Sherlock is now in ridiculous amounts of danger, and will be the reason for his death.
- John: You’re such a dick, Mycroft.
- -later-
- John: MRS HUDSON GOT SHOT, HOLY SHITBALLS.
- Sherlock: Okay, you can go, I don't really care so I’m going to stay here.
- -later-
- Moriarty: OHMYGOD YOU’RE NORMAL. GO COMMIT SUICIDE TO SAVE YOUR FRIENDS.
- Sherlock: I am a fucking angel. Here, listen to all my smart talk.
- Moriarty: OH YAAAAY YOU’RE ME! LOL but I’m out *KILLS SELF*
- Sherlock: Fuck. This ruins everything.
- -later-
- John: MRS HUDSON, YOU’RE NOT DEAD.
- Mrs Hudson: No, just busy making tea for our next-door neighbour the assassin.
- -later-
- Sherlock: John….laterz. *jumps*
- *THE SCENE THAT KILLED THE ENTIRE FANDOM*
- -later-
- John: *speaking to Sherlock’s grave*
- *THE OTHER SCENE THAT KILLED THE ENTIRE FANDOM*
- Sherlock: LOL JKS IM STILL ALIVE, but you'll have to wait another year to find out what the fuck just happened.
- THE END.
via eternaleden (originally eternaleden)
